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veterinary
In 2013, when Joy the Puppy was four years old, she had her first of two surgeries for a torn cruciate ligament.
Joy and Russ at The Lake the week we adopted her. If your partner is in veterinary medicine, know that when they ask you to help rehome a patient, you have just adopted a pet.
The surgery Joy had is called a TPLO, or tibial plate leveling osteotomy, meant to stabilize the knee after the cruciate ligament, the criss-cross ligament behind the kneecap, is no longer doing so. Joy’s first surgeon was Dr. David Merkley*, one of my favorite teachers and vets of all time.
(*Fun Merk Fact - When I was having trouble learning to tie a surgical knot in vet school, Dr. Merkley told me it was easy. I said, “You try it left handed!” He did and said, “Wow! This IS hard!” His one and only moment of humility I suspect! Dr. Merkley is the reason I love surgery.)
Joy excited to be spending time with her BFF Frank Parker when they used to volunteer at Camp Kindness at Nebraska Humane Society. Frank’s Mom Allison, also a dear friend and awesome veterinary technician, and I assisted Dr. Merkley with Joy’s first TPLO.
Joy is now thirteen years old. She has significant arthritis which was becoming life-limiting despite her very impressive list of medications, supplements and mobility aids. For the record, Joy is ok with meds in treats, but thinks stairs, ramps and wagons are all terrible.
Joy trying to steal my beer at our brother-in-law Shane’s concert.
Last month, Joy limped for a day. I mean beyond her usual stiff hobble. They she seemed to rally, and I thought the scare of a second cruciate tear was over, but we kept our appointment with Dr. Tan (whose name does NOT rhyme with Dr. Zann, so do not try to remember how to pronounce either of them correctly that way) because I wanted his take on how to better treat Joy’s arthritis.
Turns out, Joy’s right cruciate ligament was long gone, and when it actually happened, I missed it. I felt like a terrible vet and pet parent for missing in my own dog what I routinely diagnose in other dogs.
The story gets so much better from here.
Dr. Tan and the Sirius Orthopedic Veterinary Center team stabilized Joy’s knee with arthroscopic surgery and even did some work on her other knee.
Spotify play list created by one of Nebraska Humane Society’s awesome social media people on Joy’s first day of recovery. I love it so much.
Joy is doing AMAZING you guys. Her mobility and comfort are better than I can ever remember.
Another sweet thirteen year old patient is one week behind Joy in her post-op recovery, also after TPLO surgery with Dr. Tan, and it is so great to be able to say to her family that our old dogs are going to feel so much better so soon.
Whenever I write to or call the Sirius team, I try to remember to add “and hi to Emily.” Well, the awesomeness of their team has once again increased, if you can even believe that is possible. During Joy’s care at Sirius, I learned that another one of my favorite people, Nellie, has joined their team. As ecstatic as I am that Joy is thriving, this…this matches it. Love you Nellie and Emily. Thank you for being there for Joy.
Please note the beautiful straight margins of Joy’s surgical sites. This is thanks to the amazing talents of Nellie who must have remembered the time we took a benign mass off Joy and her coat took a YEAR to regrow! Thanks Friend. She will look beautiful as always for this next year of healing and hair regrowth!
We are so grateful to the entire Sirius team for Joy’s loving care. You all are the best of the best. You have brought Joy - and so our entire family - so much comfort.
And Dr. Tan, thank you for seeing our puppy in your exam room where our old dog was sleeping - for being willing to invest so much in such an old dog who is nowhere near done having adventures.
Joy the Puppy now.
Joy the Puppy then.
As soon as Russ and I decided YES this was the best next step, no matter the outcome, I knew I would not look back and wish she had not had surgery. But this, seeing Joy be such a terrible sport about strict rest when she wants to run and play, and seeing her so happy again, has been the absolute best post-op scenario I could have hoped for.
Joy thinks post-op strict rest is BULL-ony. If I would just move my leg, she could tear down the deck stairs and play with Doug Dog in the yard.
Soon Sweet Girl. You got this. This will be your best summer yet.
Maybe Becky will remember…it was perhaps…10? years ago that my veterinary technician friend told me she is an empath and so am I. She said that is why we work so well together, and that is why patients’ situations affect us so deeply.
At the time, I knew she was on to something but could only think, “Is ‘empath’ a word? I know “empathy,” it is the word I confuse with “sympathy” and has to do with feelings.
So here we are a decade later. Thank you Becky for starting me on this journey. It has been literally lifesaving. Here is what I have learned so far -
SYMPATHY - feeling something for someone.
EMPATHY - taking on someone’s feelings as if they are your own.
HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP) - one who empathizes with others more than average.
EMPATH - one who is on the extra sensitive end of being a highly sensitive person.
“Empaths, HSP’s, I know this is too much for you. You are absorbing the collective, nauseating worry. This is your superpower. You feel the pain of others. You are strong enough to handle this. You are.” -Kimberly Stover
For the past few years, I have been working on letting go of others’ emotions that I have absorbed.
Recently, I have had to up my self care game as I am now in a (wonderful) situation with roughly twice the caseload I have EVER had. I could see from the start that I would not last much longer in this field that I love if I continued to take on the emotions and illnesses and pain of every patient and client and team member as if they were my own. I needed to figure out how not to live and die with every case and situation.
Being all in comes naturally to me. If I have met you and your pet, I am all in and always will be. However, letting go of emotions that are ours to share then yours to own and work through does not come naturally to me at all. Dare I say I suck at this. It has not been an easy skill to learn at all, and I am still only just beginning.
I know well that you do not need me to try to take on all of your pain then crash and burn and not be there for you the next time you need me. You need me to be there with you and for you, and then to let go. Not to stop caring, not to become unavailable, but not to try to walk through something for you that you need to walk through yourself. The next family and pet need this too. My family needs this. I need this.
“A lot of pain you’re carrying isn’t even yours to carry. You’ve picked up other people’s pain along your journey. If you’re an empathic soul, bless you, but you still need boundaries. Lighten your load by being able to know what belongs to you and what doesn’t.” -Nathan Allen Pirtle
As I continue to work on improving in this area, let me declare myself the opposite of an expert and just say that here are two resources I have recently found to be very helpful -
The fun one - Thera-pets - a set of cards with super cute pictures and self care reminders by artist Kate Allen (@tlkateart on Twitter).
The serious one - The Empath’s Survival Guide, Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff, MD (@JudithOrloffMD on Twitter).
Friends and family who are tougher than me, I cannot tell you how often your strength and wise perspectives have gotten me through. Sometimes I need someone to remind me that this too shall pass…or to eat a sandwich…or take a nap…or step back and take a breath. Thank you.
Friends who are also highly sensitive people and empaths, within and beyond the veterinary field, let’s lean on others around us with different ways of processing and also keep encouraging one another. I know that our biggest struggle may also be our greatest strength. I just have not figured all of it out yet. We’ve got this…or we will. Our wellbeing and very lives depend on it.
I feel as though we are closer to the answers than we may think. And for what it’s worth, I can always trust my feelings.
It is curious the things we accept as true without pausing to ask whether they match what we know to actually be true, often without even noticing that we are doing it.
For those of you with a weak stomach or no interest in the ins and outs of surgery...or both...skip this post!
Those of you who like the weird and the gross, read on.
One of the coolest surgeries we do is stone removal surgery from the urinary bladder.
Stones can be quite pretty. These look like roses to me.
We take stones out for two reasons - they hurt and they can obstruct the urinary system, especially in males.
Before surgery, we do a physical exam and blood work. When we have patients undergoing anesthesia, we - of course - want it to be as safe as possible.
The day of surgery, the pet is fasted. He or she is sedated and anesthetized. An IV catheter is in and anesthesia monitoring equipment is hooked up.
The pet is placed on their back on the surgery table in the surgery room. Lights are aimed at their belly.
Warning! Here is the gross/cool part...An incision is made into the abdomen and the urinary bladder. The stones are scooped out - I am not making this up - with a tiny measuring spoon. We have three. They say "smidge," "sprinkle" and "pinch." I use the "smidge" spoon, the smallest one.
The bladder incision and the abdominal wall incision are sewn back up and x-rays are taken to make sure all of the stones are out. The stones are sent to a lab for analysis.
And the pet lives happily ever after, hopefully forever stone free.
Bill and Cara got me these beautiful plants while I was in the hospital. They are thriving in five gallon buckets!
I've been doing well since then. I visit the therapist once a month. I am on five (5!) medications to control my depression symptoms. And they do.
It is difficult sometimes for my clients to have their pets on several medications, not just because they are hard to keep track of, but also because so many medications can seem excessive. "Each one is important," I tell them. Now I get it. Each one is important. But it is all still a lot - a lot of medication and a lot to take in and understand.
I've had no more very, very dark days. Some grey days, but nothing like the heavy oppressive days I could not get out from under.
I have been able to enjoy life, but it's been tempered, even dulled. I'll take it. There is time for higher highs, probably when I can also handle the lower lows.
If one baby tomato plant and one baby pepper plant are good, ALL the plants are better!
I purposely chose gardening as my focus for this year. Luna Dog will probably die this year, and I will need something to balance the sadness. Something grounding (haha) and soothing. I chose gardening.
Luna says, "Geez! I'm not dead yet!"
I am well. I am good. I occasionally fear a tumble down the dark abyss that is overwhelming depression, but I don't dwell, I don't dread. And now I feel like I have the tools to come back if need be.
Life is good. It is good to feel more like me again.
My kalanchoe plants from Bill and Cara - doing well too!
Chicken Soup for the Soul - My Cat's Life - 101 Stories about all the Ages and Stages of Our Feline Family Members
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Jennifer Quasha
"Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a worn out coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. -Irving Townsend. page 319.
What's that in the upper left hand corner? Another product to review next week perhaps?
When I was choosing products to receive and review from Chewy.com for the first time, my very first choice was a Chicken Soup book. I love these!
Chewy.com is letting me choose two items to review free of charge every month. If there is a product you would like me to review, please let me know!
Of the Chicken Soup books, I chose a cat book because I still miss our Max the Cat and I miss all of my feline patients I can no longer see because of my allergies.
My Cat's Life - 10/10 - would read again.
I loved these stories you guys. I took off my judgy pants (there were quite a few outdoor cats and cats giving birth and delayed veterinary care and rehomed cats) and put on my jammie pants and settled in for what turned out to be a very enjoyable time.
I love the individuality and nuances and beauty of cats. All of these traits are here in abundance. I love very old cats the most. They were here too. My favorite story is #79 - The Ingredients of Happiness, by Saralee Perel, because it explores living in the moment with your pet. I also likes that it takes place in a veterinary hospital.
It was intriguing to hear how families interpreted information from their veterinary teams as relayed in the stories. It was heartening to realize most families absorb and interpret medical information accurately, even in stressful times.
This book is calming, like the presence of a cat is calming.
If you would like to read this book, please let me know. I will write a list of names inside the front cover, and we can pass it around. When I get it back, I plan to read it again!
ONE YEAR AGO
TWO YEARS AGO
I am thankful for my first job at Columbine Animal Hospital.
The first job I accepted in Denver was at Columbine Animal Hospital. I worked 80 hours a week including overnights. I struggled as a vet just out of school and often on my own. The atmosphere at work was a smidge bit toxic. Well, no, it sucked. It was very demotivating, but I was in mountain and forest and lake and dirt bike country living my dream of being a vet, and we couldn't be happier. At first.
My boss at Columbine Animal Hospital had Russ and I over for Christmas Eve. He gave me my first stethoscope which I still have today and is the best one I have ever had.
He took me on a balloon ride. A balloon ride you guys!
He took us boating a couple of times and let me carry his Miniature Dachshund Sherman everywhere. Sherman loved being carried like a baby. (I got my first and only case of ringworm on my inner elbow from Sherman's ears.)
When work gets rough, it's never as rough as overnights with two snake venom cases and one vial of antidote. (Littleton Hospital saved us. I didn't know how gutsy that was to ask. I just asked.)
When I get lonely for my family, they are never as far away as they were that first year.
When I work super hard, it is never on a continually busy day then night shift with no technical help.
When I struggle with ethical decisions, and, I hope, choose correctly, I never get as much friction as I did at Columbine.
Columbine Animal Hospital made me tough. The rare down time I got was spent doing amazing things in the beautiful outdoors of Colorado. I treasure the time and the experiences. I haven't always, but I do now.
...
Post from one year ago today...
November 4, 2016
Post from two years ago today...
November 4, 2015
When I was between jobs in 2011, I started a comic strip called "When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Vet," that continued until I had all my frustrations from previous experiences out of my system. There were a few comics about my current job, but not rooted in frustration. I wasn't sure where it would go and how it would end. Part of me wishes I was still creating the comic. I processed what I needed to process, and thankfully, ran out of new material.
I am thankful for every situation that I was able to turn into a comic.
I will post a comic from "When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Vet" here every Friday until we have gotten through them all. If you would like to see the original website where all the comics are, it is here...
When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Vet
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Post from one year ago today...
November 3, 2016
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Post from two years ago today...
November 3, 2015
This Thanksgiving...
I am thankful that in 1997, the AVMA President told me I would never find a job as a veterinarian in Denver. She was giving a "motivational" talk to our veterinary class. She said that veterinary jobs were everywhere, unless we wanted to live in Denver or work with marine animals. I went up after the talk and explained my situation to her. "I would be able to find a job in Denver, wouldn't I?"
"No," she said. "Absolutely not."
Denver - No! You cannot work here!
Our whole plan for after I finished veterinary school was to move to Denver for Russ to go to graduate school at Denver Seminary. We were locked into our plan by our own excitement and stubbornness, so we saw no other option than to move to Denver where I would find the said to be non-existent veterinary job.
Denver Seminary
Being told I cannot do something is always a huge motivator for me. :) I applied for several jobs and accepted a job with Columbine Animal Hospital within days of arriving in Denver.
Columbine Animal Hospital
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Post from one year ago today...
November 2, 2016
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Post from two years ago today...
November 2, 2015
It is living in the in between that is the trickiest.
The advice of my therapist fifteen years ago was to get rid of our dogs, Ebony and Copper, as she said they were stressing me out.
Sometimes God lets our hearts be broken for people groups, then heals our hearts in such a way that we can be used to help heal other hearts.
One week ago, Mom and Dad's Poodle puppies, Oscar and Felix, were neutered.
They spent the day with Kelly, Jen, Hannah, Amy and me, and said they had a very good but strange day.
Jen got this great picture of Oscar hugging Felix while Kelly holds them :)
I love this picture of sleepy Oscar!
You did it boys!
Felix, do you want to talk about it?
Oscar was not impressed with his protective cone.
We ate lunch together. I ate while the Poodles silently judged me.
2 days post op, Abby and Arthur check on Oscar.
Amanda and Robert check on Felix.
Boys, you did great! And good news! You can take your cones off today!
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Post from one year ago today...
February 13, 2016
Dr. Chris Horstman's new veterinary hospital, Sirius Veterinary Orthopedic Center, had its grand opening Tuesday, November 29, 2016.
Veterinary technicians Erin Kumm and Allison Parker and I spent the day yesterday at the Scott Conference Center with other members of the Nebraska Academy of Veterinary Medicine to hear Dr. Chris Byers speak on critical care and internal medicine.
Erika camping this past summer
This account is posted with Erika's blessing.
Never forget Friend that I love you more than Taffi loves cat food. We all do.
Garden stepping stone from one of my dearest friends Erika. I do not remember how many years ago this was, but it is still in the same place. I love it - and Erika - so much. I was so happy when she moved back to Omaha and started working at Gentle Doctor with me several months ago. Everyone there loves her too.
On Sunday August 28, 2016 I was finishing listening to Dr. Dryden's lecture on heartworm disease at CVC - Central Veterinary Conference - in Kansas City.
Erika texted from Omaha, "I've ruined my entire life, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
We texted back and forth. Erika texted, "You were a good sister." The hostess at Romeo's where Erika works as a server, in addition to being a veterinary technician at Gentle Doctor, had once said that she saw the family resemblance between her and me when my family asked to be seated in Erika's section.
By now I was in the expo hall of CVC with my family. Russ was getting us pizza, and Amanda and Abby and I were with the dogs.
"am" I texted.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me" Erika texted.
I called. Erika didn't answer. I went to find Russ to see if he knew Erika's apartment complex name. He was already back to the table. He didn't know. I called work, forgetting it was Sunday. At some point in there I texted "NO. ERIKA WAIT."
I called Angie and asked her to call 911 and have someone sent to Erika's home. Angie came in to work and got Erika's address and sent help. She also texted Erika. We prayed.
I called Erika again. This time she answered. I kept her on the phone until she could not stay awake. She said Taffi was looking at her. I said, "Who would feed the dog and cats?" Erika said she didn't know, and they did love to eat. She said Taffi especially loved cat food. I told her I loved her, that I loved her more than Taffi loves cat food.
She said she was trying to cross her fingers but couldn't. I said I would cross my fingers that everything would be okay. I said goodbye and hung up and waited.
Angie and I didn't hear anything at all the rest of that day. Russ and I had gone to the CVC block party but figured we could wait just as well in the hotel room with the girls and dogs.
At 11 pm, Vamsi texted Angie and me that Erika was in the hospital. I woke up at 1 am to that text and one from Angie. I didn't sleep well, but waited till morning to text them both back.
Erika was admitted to Bergan Mercy after telling the paramedics she had drunk a bottle of schnapps in an effort to kill herself and changed into a dress and jewelry so she would be beautiful in the afterlife unlike a tv character she knew of who fell asleep in her storm sweater and passed away and had be dressed like that as a ghost forever after.
She said Taffi would not stop barking at the paramedics because they would not sit down.
She was transferred to Fremont Medical Center because it was the only hospital in Nebraska with an open bed for behavioral medicine cases. She said that because it was a suicide attempt, she would be in the custody of the Omaha Police for 72 hours.
She would be released Wednesday night. She said she had never slept so much and had been able to let go of all she had had bottled up.
Russ, Amanda, Abby, and I got back into town and visited Erika with Angie. Erika's parents and Vamsi were there. I told Erika that I knew we had good friends before, but Gentle Doctor is unique, and now she has 50 people ready to kick her ass if she pulls that shit again. Angie said the same thing more eloquently and without swearing.
-end-
-next chapter starting-
I don’t mind that veterinarians are paid on the low end for the medical world.
She too, like me, and many of us in the veterinary community, and maybe even the world at large, is sometimes overwhelmed by people.
When I first started learning Twitter, I got together with a group of Omaha Twitter people for pizza.
Dr. Jeremy Lipschultz was in that group. I was impressed then, and have been since, by his depth and span of knowledge. I have enjoyed getting to know Jeremy over the past several years.
Photograph by Dr. Marnee Jepsen
Last night, with other Omaha veterinary teams, Hannah Miller - one of the awesome receptionists at Gentle Doctor, who may or may not be on a quest to drag me in multiple new social media directions, including Instagram, which, for the record, is not even a word - and I had the privilege of hearing Jeremy speak about social media.
I took notes as fast as I could for almost two hours, so although I know I learned a ton, I do not yet know what all exactly I learned.
Here are some of my notes:
Dr. and Mrs. Lipschultz have Winston the Pug and Franklin the Cat. They are, of course, friends.
I was able to talk afterwards with Hannah, Dr. Lipschultz, Dr. Van Horn, Dr. Jepsen and Rob from Virbac, who, along with the MWI team, arranged the event AND bought us dinner at Cantina Laredo. I am now a huge fan of that restaurant.
Thank you Rob! Thank you Jeremy! What a fun night.