And I slept some more.
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I lay awake for an hour or so.
I do have a plan, several plans in fact, but they are all bad ones, thank God.
They kept me safe and asked me questions and let me sleep.
I laugh every time, not because it is funny, but because it is a shockingly horrible thing to say.
"this is not good"
I promised my brother I would stay.
This is my first memory of struggling against depression.
This is hanging outside of the Westwood Church preschool room. I love it so much. I have several suspects, but truly any one of the amazing preschool teachers at Westwood could have put it up.
We asked Russ exactly what he wanted for Father's Day.
"Time with my family."
Nope. I mean, yep, but wrong answer.
"Anything is fine."
Nope.
"A grill."
Nope, but closer.
"This grill."
Better.
"This grill that I just now sent a picture of to Abby and also a picture of the model number. Also it is at Menard's."
Perfect!
Abby and I drove Park (pre-smashed days) to Menard's and loaded the grill onto the cart (with help), bought it and ran it to the car. We tried for a long time, but apparently, as awesome as Park the Car is, he cannot be used to bring something home that is bigger than his available space.
We wheeled the grill back in and asked if we could leave it inside while we got the truck. I figured people must do that all time, but the nice woman who helped us was stumped for a bit.
"Yes, of course," she finally said.
So we drove Park home and got Little Red (Russ wouldn't name him! So his name is Little Red.) and brought the grill home.
It was too big to wrap, and we weren't quite sure how to put it together, so on Father's Day, Russ looked under the table and was (acted) surprised.
Then he put it together and made us steaks and potatoes.
We are so good at giving gifts!
Russ, Amanda and Abby at the 21 Pilots concert in Lincoln last summer
Finch, you are an awesome Dad, and we love you so much.
Russ and Amanda and Abby at a Banfield conference in Portland in 2009
Russ and Abby and Amanda and Ebony at ConAgra Park in 2009
We were driving home from our friends' house in Council Bluffs the other day. Traffic was slow over the bridge to Omaha because one lane was closed for construction.
Joy and Luna were in the car with Russ and me. Amanda and Abby were not with us - they were babysitting their cousins.
We were the first car of a kinda smashy pile-up. The car behind us hit us, and the car behind them hit them. No one was badly hurt, thank goodness, and the dogs thought it was a fun adventure. The Council Bluffs police officers kept going between the cars and checking to make sure everyone, including the dogs, was doing okay.
We don't know for sure if we get to keep Park, but I hope so. I was so relieved we were all okay and that the girls were not with us.
We were tempted to curl up on the couch and stay in, but we had already planned to go hear our brother in law play in a band, so we went. I was so glad we did. It was the opposite of the crash (yes, that good!) We had sangria (people) and ice (dogs), and all was well.
Always bring an umbrella.
Just no.
Russ and Olive check out the lake together
Arthur ate on the floor all week - it worked great! When you have good food, the more you can spread out, the better.
Robert packed his own bag. When we asked him what he had packed, he opened his backpack and shook it upside down - all toy cars and books. Good job Robert! His Mom packed the boring stuff for him in another bag.
Robert and his grapes
Abby and Mom
Henry wore this great outfit at least half the time! I love the tail.
Bill and Charlie driving the boat
This is my favorite picture of the trip. Cara is an excellent diver! I was too chicken to get into the freezing cold water.
The rule when wearing this hat is if someone says, "Howdy, Partner," you have to tip the hat and say "Yee-haw!" Henry followed this rule very well.
Abby on the tube
Abby and Henry on the Maui Mat - I had never seen one - the kids had fun on it.
We had campfires here in the evenings. It was awesome. One night, Bill, Dave, Sara and I were talking about dog training. Bill and I were having a...discussion. "How do you know you're right and I'm wrong?" Bill asked. "Because I'm the fucking vet," I said. "She has a point," Sara said. Love you Bill Nelson! Wish my clients would let me use this reason as graciously as you do :)
Abby and Henry
Russ, Mom and Olive, as beautiful as ever!
Abby and Henry - bumper cars!
Dad and Olive
I love this one! Grab the wheel Olive! Grandpa's driving can be scary!
Amanda and Charlie. I love these two together. They have fun but both have a calm, serious side that sometimes comes out when they are together, even when trying to smash their family in bumper cars.
Carnival games!
Olive won ALL the games.
Every time Olive had a choice of prizes, she chose a duck.
Wise choices Olive!
I love this picture of Henry! Charlie bought the hat for him with his own money <3
Amanda on the boat
Abby learning to water ski from the best teacher around
Dad and Robert coming up from the boat
Amanda, Olive and me on the boat
Grandpa telling Arthur an exciting story about the lake monster
By the end of the last day, we were all wiped out! It was the perfect family vacation.
The Nelson side of our family spent a week at Okoboji this summer. It was such a great week.
Amanda, Dad and me on the boat. Do I ever tan? NO! Did I wear suntan lotion when Cara reminded me? YES but only after I got this bad sunburn!
Once again, like I did two years ago (yes I need to do it more often - I am working on it!) I put my phone in my nightstand at home after making sure Dr. Bashara and Janna who was watching our pets (enjoying the company of Joy and the fishes and cleaning up after our jerk dog Luna) and our family back home could reach me if they needed.
I opened myself up a bit to let the doctor team see a tiny bit of my crazy by sending them a list of every patient with a serious or chronic issue who I thought might need them during the week. Four pages - it varies from two to five pages and I check half of them weekly and half of them monthly. I was most concerned about Bailey and Bailey who both did just fine because they both have awesome families and an awesome working vet team in Omaha watching out for them.
I rode my first ferris wheel with Finch!
And then I SLEPT. I slept on the way there. I slept in the cabin. I slept in the boat. My Sister-I-Love Cara, seeing that I could not stay awake, said, "It must be exhausting making medical decisions for pets all day every day." And THAT is the closest anyone has ever gotten to describing what is hardest about veterinary medicine. I love it, and the snuggles unique to our career sure do help, but I - like every other veterinary medical professional - get worn out.
I slept fourteen hours the first day we were home, then twelve, then ten and now I am trying to sleep eight hours a night. EVERYONE knows they need downtime. I keep trying to not need downtime. It has - I am not overstating this - almost destroyed me more than once.
The days off, the nights at home, the early afternoons, the vacations, they can all offset the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion if I let them. It is a GOOD exhaustion - a rewarding, worthy, where I am supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing sort of exhaustion, but draining just the same. Everyone - my family, my friends, my vet team and my boss - is looking out for each other, and we do what we can to make sure we are all well, but it is all for naught if the lifeline is not grabbed when it is offered.
THANK YOU. Don't forget. I will not (again) either.
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Post from one year ago today...
July 11, 2017
Recently a group of us went an hour or so outside of Omaha and spent the night in a big gorgeous cabin. It was so much fun. I love that you can literally step outside of Omaha and be in the country.
The best part - of course - was being with friends.
We just wanted to pet the lambs.
The mamas did NOT want us to pet the lambs.
The highlight of the night - AMY GOT TO SEE A BABY CALF BEING BORN! BEING BORN YOU GUYS! We got to meet Mama and Baby within the hour, which is still the youngest calf I have ever met.
We wanted to pet the newborn calf too. Mama said no.
The next coolest thing was the double rainbow.
"Are you coming inside to play cards?" half the group asked.
"When the sky stops being pretty," the other half of us said.
We never got to play cards all together because it would not stop being gorgeous outside, but we all had a very good time.
Recently we went to a beautiful Nebraska vineyard, Glacial Till Vineyard and Winery, to hear our brother in law Shane play guitar with On the Rocks. He is super good. The band sounded great.
We called to ask if we could bring the dogs. "They need to be well behaved and leashed and you need to pick up after them." We figured two out of three isn't bad, and headed out.
Here are pictures from the night.
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Post from one year ago today...
July 8, 2016
Abby painted this painting of Luna for Russ for his birthday. I love it so much.
Abby found an inchworm at Jazz on the Green.
One of Omaha's summer farmers' markets is at Aksarben Village on Sundays. It is our favorite one, and when we go, we bring the dogs.
This is my favorite thing that has happened there this year...
We were walking past one of the musicians - they play on the corners of the Farmers' Market just far enough away from each other that they will not interfere with each other's music. He is an amazing guitar player, but I do not know his name.
He stopped playing and watched Abby and Luna cross the street. He yelled, "You and your dog match! You have matching pink hair! That makes me so happy."
He started playing again, and Abby and I smiled at each other. We smiled for most of the rest of the day. I hope he did too.
