For the past several years - I get sad when I try to think how many - 5 - 10 off and on - I have been TIRED. Not “life is busy” tired or “raising kids is exhausting” tired as I kept being told - and telling myself.
Like I love to write and walk the dogs and hang out in the evenings with Russ and the kids and just often could not. Like I love being busy and challenged at work, and a work day took everything I physically had.
For the past two years I have been telling myself I am getting used to a new job and busier schedule. But. This job is no longer new. And my work schedule - while busy and challenging - would not normally be exhausting, but invigorating and fun.
At the end of every day I had NOTHING left - often even by dinnertime. Russ has been making almost all our dinners for years. If I made it to dinner, I would crash afterwards and try harder the next day.
You can only try harder for so long till you end up back at the doctor begging for answers. My cat allergies were kicking my butt, I could not make it through a day without resting after every appointment, and I still was barely making it to dinner and through dinner.
In April 2023, I was diagnosed with low iron levels. An answer! I started iron supplements and was so relieved.
Only I got worse. I became more weak, more lethargic, less able to stay awake. And though I have not touched a cat in seven years, the cat allergies seemed to be trying to kill me.
In April 2023, we were working with the cutest three pound Yorkie who had just gotten through a health scare of her own. When Taylore stepped away for a minute and Puppy wanted to be held, I could not lift her. I tried really hard and just could not - it was if she were a Mastiff on the table, and honestly, on a good day, I can lift a Mastiff if need be.
I stubbornly plowed forward - The next day, Dr. Olson and Jordan lifted a Shepherd onto the exam table for me. I had no trouble with her procedure itself but remember telling Jordan I felt like I was trying to work in Jello.
That was my last day of work for three months.