A trait intwined in my introversion is empathy. People must be able to sense that.
Two grocery store cashier examples...
Russ and I were checking out at a grocery store we had never been to. The cashier asked how we were. "Fine," Russ said. "Good," I said. "How are you?" The cashier teared up and said that her son was in the hospital, and she was scared and she really needed me to pray for him. I teared up too. "I will," I said. I did.
We left with our groceries, and Russ stared at me. "You weren't kidding," he said. "People really do open up to you."
Grocery store cashier story number two...
We were checking out at our neighborhood grocery store and had a cashier we had not met before. Again, she asked how we were. Again I asked how she was. She stopped checking groceries for a moment and looked up. "My boyfriend drove me to work, but then he broke up with me. I have to work this whole night shift before I can go home and think about it." "Well he is stupid," I said. "You can do better." She smiled a little, and finished checking us out. THE NEXT NIGHT, Russ was checking out with the same cashier. "How are you?" he asked. "Fine thanks!" she said, and handed him his bag of groceries.
So weird! And such an honor. It happens all the time in the exam rooms at work too. Maybe because we are alone in a small room. Maybe because we have the person's beloved pet between us to break the ice. But because it happens elsewhere and so frequently, I suspect it is also because people sense my empathy and introversion and know they are safe opening up.
Many introverts do not like small talk. I do. I absolutely love when that talk falls right into the deep end, and we can start solving life problems together, even in the check out aisle.
